And we're off!!!

Off to Guatemala...please pray for the team and I! Will post more upon my return = )

Am I pro-life?

Many people might want to throw their computers out the window after they read what I am about to write. Keep reading anyway.

Here it goes....

Being pro-life is not everything.

Are you still there?

Let me elaborate...

There is a difference between being anti-death and being pro-life. One can oppose death and at the same time not actively support life.

Understand where I'm at?

A couple of months ago, I sat across from a young girl, holding her hands and welcoming her tears. Let me tell you her story. "Lashawna" is homeless. She sleeps on friends' couches and takes a meal where she can get it. She has no contact with her family...if you can even call "them" that. Her father abandoned the family when Lashawna was a baby. Lashawna's mother was physically abusive to all 3 of her kids, but especially to Lashawna's younger sister, who has some special needs. Lashawna and her sisters were removed from the home and passed from foster home to foster home until, at 18, Lashawna aged out of the system...which pretty much brings us full circle. Homeless. Familyless. Hopeless. And now pregnant. Lashawna came to me considering abortion.

It is easy to check a box on a ballot. It's easy to spout off an easily defined conviction at a cocktail party. But what do you say to Lashawna?

Homeless. Familyless. Hopeless.

I can tell her not to abort her baby.
I cannot guarantee she will have help raising her baby.
I cannot guarantee she will have a place to live.
I cannot promise that she will have the resources to buy prenatal vitamins and diapers.
I cannot promise that her child "won't end up like me...being passed from home to home" if she chooses adoption.
I can tell her not to abort her baby. But I can't promise her any of those other things, because there are plenty of statistics to sabotage those promises. Unless I choose to be actively pro-life for her and her child, they will end up being just another one of those statistics (and there are plenty not-so-good-ones to choose from).
~~~~~~~~

Recently, I stumbled across THIS ARTICLE. Oh my. It is pretty much my heart, summed up on a page.

Friends, we are so eager to shout to the world that we are "PRO-LIFE!" But are we truly pro-life, or just anti-death?

I am terrified to admit it, but I must say that my answer to Kinsey Thurlow's question would have to be "no." There are hundreds of thousands of kids waiting to be adopted here in the US. Millions more around the world. If we, the people of God, are not even caring for these kids, why would we be arrogant enough to think we could take on thousands more? ***I am by NO MEANS saying that abortion is right, good, or any of the like. (And I'm also not saying that GOD could not handle the thousands of lives that are in jeopardy here)***

I'm just giving you something to think about at your next cocktail party...Abortion creates brokenness. However, the faces behind abortion are complicated. They are hurting. They are also uniquely beautiful. And they need us to be pro-LIFE for THEM, too...not just for their babies.

I've heard a couple of people respond to Thurlow's article by saying that God's people have not been educated about foster care and adoption, that what we need to do is focus on educating people about the need.

As a full-time student (who has been a student pretty much since she was born), I'm here to educate YOU about...well, education.

learning [lur-ning]:
--noun
1. by systematic study in any field of scholarly application.

2. the act or process of acquiring knowledge or skill.
3. the modification of behavior through practice, training, or experience.

Let me just say this. It is the job of my professors to present information. As a nursing student, it is my job to show up to class, study the reading material, review what is presented, and apply, both to my life and to my nursing practice, the information I am receiving. My professors do not bang on my door each morning, make sure I am up and reading my textbooks, lead me to class, or watch me review. These things are not in their job description.

I'm sure there is truth to the statement: "The Church has not been educated about foster care and adoption." I'm also sure that God longs for His people to actively pursue His heart...to actively pray that He would burden them with the things that burden His heart. I'm sure that He longs for His people to study His Word, to intentionally look for ways to carry out His work here on earth.

So here is my plea. Don't let ignorance be the barrier between you and God's heart. Don't wait for someone to spoon-feed you. Take it upon yourself to learn His likes and dislikes, His passions and burdens. PRAY that God would reveal to you ways you can be not only anti-death, but also PRO-LIFE. STUDY God's Word...I'm pretty sure you'll see God's heart for the oppressed shine through. REVIEW how God might have you act. {And don't think, by any means, that I am not including myself in this plea...I am, as you read this, taking a dose of my own medicine.}

Let's give people like Lashawna a reason to believe they do not have to resign themselves to the statistics. Let's come alongside them and give them a home, a family, and a hope in the God who loves them more than they could even fathom. I may not be able to promise many things, but I can guarantee that our God is not only against death, but also very much for LIFE. And He longs to raise LIFE out of death...through the hands and feet and servant hearts of His people.

Random Thoughts on a Saturday

As I continue to learn new things about the human body, I am constantly blown away by God's creativity and incredible attention to detail. For example, how is it possible for this much information...

...to somehow become imprinted in a human brain in only 10 weeks? Here's to hoping all that imprinting worked well! I am so ready to put these...

away for a couple of weeks, so that I can focus on this:

The past two weeks have been full of craziness {i.e. almost passing out in the middle of giving blood for the first time. Sigh. I must have "blood donor loser" written across my forehead...}, difficulties {I thought they promised us we were done with check-offs forever?}, incredible blessings {lots of meaningful time with dear friends}, anxiety {are the words "money" and "stress" forever linked together?} and a sense of overwhelming thankfulness for all God has done and is doing in my life. I am so excited to begin this...

and I'm so thankful for lots of memories of this sweet man...

One of my biggest fears after my Dad went to heaven was that I would forget...that I would lose my remembrance of the incredible legacy he left. Recently, God has been putting this fear to rest, as hardly a day goes by when I am not thinking of or talking about my dad!

Though I don't have many insightful things to say today, I do have many things to be grateful for, including the many people who have been praying for me.

What are you thankful for today?

Because I am a dork...

...I read parenting books. Yep, that's right. Parenting books.

I know that God made me to be a mom. In fact, I've known for quite a while. According to my sister, I came out of the womb saying, "I want babies! I want babies!" Uh, yeah. Something like that.
I know this makes me a dork and all kinds of weird in some people's eyes, but I figure...if I know what God wants me to do (at least in part), why not start reading up now? I don't want to stumble into the role of parent. I want to model intentionality to the kids that I believe God will one day entrust into my care. So I read parenting books. And plead with God the whole time that He would grow me into the godly woman He is preparing to lead these children.

Being a dork, I thought I would share with you some of the books I am currently reading. Take it or leave it = )

Book #1:
GREAT read. Here's an incredible thought: What if you raised your son or daughter to know and love Jesus intimately, then he or she went on to share the love of Jesus with 10 people, who went on to share the love of Jesus with 10 people, who...well, do you catch my drift? By intentionally pouring into your own child, you are potentially impacting the world for Christ. That is the basis of this book.

Book #2:

Because I have a passion and perhaps a calling to one day minister to kids from hard places, I am always interested in reading more about creative discipline methods. This book is a wealth of ideas...and some of them are pretty funny too = ) A great resource, in my opinion, and fully principled from God's Word!

Book #3:
I just started reading this book, but already I can tell I will like it. In this rush-rush culture, the family dinner has fallen to the waste side...a very sad turn of events, in my opinion. This book is all about reviving the family dinner and enhancing it to be a fun and meaningful family time! It is FULL of creative ideas, all the way from how to decorate the table to how to involve your children in the preparation process. There are recipes to try too = )

Book #4:
Because God uses the most unlikely people to change the world for Him, children are TOO SMALL TO IGNORE. God has a plan and a purpose for the children you touch shoulders with every day...and a reason why He has you touching shoulders with them. Great read.

Book #5:
This is not so much a parenting book as it is an EVERYONE book...because there really are FIELDS of the fatherless.

Book #6:
It's always a good thing, in my opinion, to better understand your child or the children in your life. To know what fuels their little hearts and fills their "love tanks"...important stuff!

Book #7:
I haven't read this one yet, but I'm excited to = ) The front cover gives a pretty good synopsis.

Book #8:
This is another one on my to-read-list. It is a memoir about one family's adoption journey into a large family...supposedly with a good dose of humor added. I will let you know = )

Book #9:
Many adoptive parents would say this is a must read for the parent of children from hard places. Definitely a great resource! The author, Karen Purvis, and her team also hold yearly conferences and have a website full of other great resources for foster/adoptive parents. I am really hoping to make it to one of her conferences soon!

Book #10:
I may be a dork, but I'm not stupid. I realize that parenting is a HARD job, but it is also a DIVINE privilege and RESPONSIBILITY. I'm not a parent yet {obviously}...and I know I can never be one without God's HELP and WISDOM. Yes, I read parenting books. I also spend a lot of time {often while reading the other books} praying that God would equip me for the role of parent...so that whenever He may allow me the privilege of taking on such a role, I will not just stumble into it, but will take it on with grace, humility, and God-strength.

So there you have it...a taste of my parenting-book obsession. If you know of any other good books, please fill me in...I'm always on the lookout = )

Reaping Hope from Desperation

Source

I remember the day like the back of my eyelids in a slumberous sleep. I stood in my Dad's classroom, eyes fixed on the portrait continuously flashing across the TV screen. I was 12. A young girl, only a few years older than me, had been kidnapped at knifepoint. My worst nightmare had become someone else's reality. The footage, on replay, felt like a blade to MY throat.

It is amazing how events impress themselves on the human brain, changing lives in ways unexpected. Just a few images can live inside the human brain for a lifetime. Today, those images--nearly a decade old--came flooding back. Elizabeth Smart's kidnapper faced sentencing today and, just like that, the storybook of her tragedy slammed shut. At least in the world's eyes.

From one headline to the next, I find tears spilling over my cheeks. I read about two little boys, instantly snatched from their mother's loving arms into the death grip of a fierce tornado. I look at satellite photos of Joplin, Missouri...the astonishing before and after pictures that scream of damage too great to ever see total repair. I sit next to a woman at school, a woman grieving over the ravaging effects of a deadly cancer on her family. I watch another friend walk the hard road to recovery after a devastating allergic reaction. I read the pained words of a mother who just gave her infant son his last bath, cradling him as he said goodbye to this world.

So much pain. So much brokenness. So much death.

And then I read: "Always be prepared to give an answer to everyone who asks you to give the reason for the hope that you have" (1 Peter 3:15).

Hope? God, where do I find hope in all this mess? How do I face a grieving father of two dead little boys and whisper tales of hope? How do I convey such a scandalous message in the face of such despair?

The pictures...the interviews...the tears...
They all remind me.

The happy don't pine for hope. The unbroken don't go searching for Super Glue. The healthy don't sell all they have for a cure. Jesus came to heal the broken. To give hope to the hopeless, help to the helpless. There is no greater time than now to raise this lantern of hope, to magnify the name of Jesus before a dying world.

"Always be prepared to give an answer..." Oh Lord Jesus, give me the words...the servant hands...the tender and gracious heart...to share your eternity-transforming hope with a lost and desperate generation.

A Quiet Epidemic

In America,
63% of youth suicides
71% of pregnant teenagers
70% of juveniles in state-operated institutions
85% of all youth who exhibit behavior disorders
71% of high school dropouts
85% of teenagers in prison

...come from fatherless homes.

Recently, I finished reading the book Fatherless Generation, by John Sowers. While I was saddened by the above statistics that greeted me within the first few pages of the book, I was even more saddened by my lack of surprise at Sowers' grim account of the pandemic of fatherlessness in America. Shouldn't statistics like these shock me?! Shouldn't I be appalled?!

The reality is, I see these statistics every day. I go to school with these statistics. I sit next to these statistics in church. I counsel these statistics every week at the local crisis pregnancy center. I goof off with these statistics every Sunday night at youth group functions. I pass these statistics in the grocery, on the street, at the post office. These statistics...are faces. They are names. They are real, live, hurting people. And somehow, I become numb to the faces, to the wound that has assailed them all...the wound called fatherlessness. Familylessness.

As I read the last page of Sowers' book and shut the cover, I was bewildered, confused even. How did we get to this place? Where do we go from here? What does all this mean for me? Is there any way to redeem the brokenness that has scarred millions of lives?

I was blessed with 18 years of life under the love and guardianship of an incredible dad. I never wondered if I was loved or protected. I was always tucked in at night, hugged and kissed and played with...by a dad who loved Jesus more than life itself.

What must it be like to grow up without a daddy? Worse still, what must it be like to grow up without a daddy OR a mommy?

Honestly, I cannot even begin to fathom what these kids (and now men and women) have faced...and are still facing. I know the pain of missing my dad, of missing the many roles that he once filled to overflowing in my life. I know the pain of longing for his strength and love and protection. But I cannot begin to comprehend what it must be like to have never known a loving parent.

Which leaves me with the question...what do I do? What do WE do? What does the Church do? Is there any redemption to be found, any hope for these lives buried in brokenness and pain?

It would be easy for me to pass the buck on to someone else. After all, I'm a 21-year-old girl, for crying out loud! The world says I should be living it up, drinking away my weekends and sleeping away my week days. It's not that easy, though.

I have been confronted with a burden, a glimpse into brokenness. And now that I have seen, I am responsible.

When the Credits Roll

The other day, I was reading some old "thoughts" of mine, and I stumbled upon the following entry...Written almost exactly a year ago, and yet it still resonates with my heart. As I get closer and closer to the end of school (at least, the end of this phase of school), my prayer is that those looking on would see only one name listed when the "credits" roll. As I begin to explore where God will lead me next, my prayer is that my only "role model" will be that humble God-man who, centuries ago, gave up His throne for a towel and foot-basin.

From April 2010:

When the Credits Roll

After reading through blog posts of brothers and sisters around the world, glorying in their adventures and mourning with them in their sorrows, I hit the red X at the top left of my screen prematurely. I can't help it. I don't want to READ more tales of large-scale obedience; I want to live my own story! I want to be the one on the other side of this black box, feeding the hungry and loving the abandoned. I want to be a part of something big, a grand motion picture that leaves the audience weeping when the credits roll! So I climb into my Daddy's lap with that all too eager grin, saying with my face and not my mouth, "Can I, God? Can I?!?!"

And He says "No."

No. Because He knows that, left to my own devices, I would end up in the slum of my own devastated pride. My plans would torch, despite my best intentions to waterproof them. He knows I would leave audiences weeping, but not because of my grand, flawlessly executed schemes to save the day. No, they would be crying because my meager attempts to change the course of history would do nothing. The sick would still be sick. The lost would still be lost. The hungry would only be more hungry. And I pretended I could do what I never can. No happy ending...just the woeful tragedy we all swore we could never handle.

The answer would be "no" because, in His infinite wisdom, He knows that my life is less like a Blockbuster film and more like an epic novel. And I am not the hero. The Hero did not come sweeping in with a cape and a sword like I dream of doing. The Hero landed on a dirty stable floor and let out a lusty scream--a baby. The Hero fell down and scraped His knee, just like the rest of us. The Hero knelt in front of His servants and served them. The Hero was despised and rejected by many people, religious hotshots, and was hung to die with the weight of the world crashing down on His shoulders. I was never the hero, because I'm really the criminal. I only pretend to be the hero every so often (all the time?). He's the Hero, because He did what I could never do--He made a path between God and mankind. He took my death sentence and fulfilled it Himself. And He continues to do what I could never do.

The answer would be no because God is writing my story. He knows the end; I only know what I WANT the end to be. His ending is a lot better than mine. And in time, who knows? Maybe someday I will be the one on the other side of the screen, doing big things and having crazy adventures. Regardless of MY life, one day the sick will be healed, the hungry will be fed, and the lost will be found. Me, the hero of a blockbuster film, though? No, my part in the film, in the epic, is really less than a blip on a radar. And when the credits of my life roll, they will only say:

GOD

Always for His glory,