Powerful video

One of the most powerful videos I've seen in a while...

God, give me your heart for your children...so much so that I am moved to act on your behalf.

Rest...and a deep conviction

So much to say...so much on my mind. I'm enjoying the forced stillness required by an airport layover. Take a guess where I've been : )

Quiet Waters Park...so beautiful!

After a long, busy couple of weeks (with some hard days thrown in there) I was given the gift of a sabbath-rest kind of trip to Annapolis, MD, where a dear friend currently resides.
Do you ever just LONG for a renewed spirit, for the kind of rest that allows your heart to breath deeply and sigh in exclamation? I'm learning how important it is to answer that call. After all, God commanded us to rest...perhaps he knew we would need the command in a culture that lures us into the vortex of busyness. And while I didn't need to fly across the country to find rest, I was privileged to be able to do just that!

As I sipped coffee while also soaking in the breeze off the water, I was overwhelmed by God's gracious provision of soul-deep rest.

The view I enjoyed on my morning walks

I'm convinced sunsets are a love-kiss from the Creator himself! And I'm partial to sunsets over the water!
Can you guess where my friend recently graduated from?

If you guessed the US Naval Academy, you would be correct = ) She had to work the football game, so I got to take in all the festivities from the stands.

Other trip highlights included a DC day trip, dinner at a local hole-in-the-wall situated on the water (incredible crab cakes!), times of prayer together for dear friends facing various trials, a morning of thanksgiving and reflection remembering God's faithfulness to both of us throughout the past year, lots of walks enjoying beautiful fall weather, and a soak in a bubbly jacuzzi. I know, I am incredibly blessed!

As I spent some time reflecting on the abundance of things I had to be thankful for this year (while also listening to the lapping of waves), I was overwhelmed with a deep gratitude for the perspective God has given me in the past year. Perspective is not always fun, and it can be incredibly lonely, but it is always good...especially when it is God's perspective. I'm not sure I can accurately express what I mean, but please hang with me as I try to convey what has been weighing on my heart. Two years ago, I was faced with the brokenness of this world in a totally new way...a way I would have preferred not to meet. Through my dad's illness and death, my eyes were opened to a whole new world. It was like I had been seeing the stage before, only now the curtain had been whipped aside and I was seeing the mess of backstage in bright light as well. Many people don't understand my new perspective. Some people understand all too well. While I don't always appreciate the new lens through which I see the world, it has forever changed my life and the way I face each day.

Yesterday, my friend and I visited the Holocaust museum in Washington, D.C...a very powerful experience, to say the least. Unfortunately, the use of cameras is prohibited, or I would have taken pictures to share with you.

First they came for the Socialists, and I did not speak out --
Because I was not a Socialist.

Then they came for the Trade Unionists, and I did not speak out --
Because I was not a Trade Unionist.

Then they came for the Jews, and I did not speak out --
Because I was not a Jew.

Then they came for me -- and there was no one left to speak for me.

~Martin Niemoller (engraved on wall of Holocaust museum)

I was deeply, deeply disturbed by what I saw, but the thing that saddened me the most really had little to do with the past. As I walked by gruesome image after gruesome image, and read about how very few people were actually brave enough to stand up to the horrors they knew were going on WHILE they were going on, I was gripped with the reality that the same thing is happening today. We mourn the abomination of the Holocaust and condemn the people who caused so much death and tribulation, and rightly we should. And yet today, there are millions of people starving to death, simply because they live THERE and we live here. There are more young girls than we can even count being used as sex slaves, girls who long ago gave up hope of rescue. There are children being orphaned every day because their parents did not have access to drugs we hand out like candy here. There are thousands upon thousands of people who will die tomorrow, simply because they had no access to clean drinking water. And on and on and on. The truly sickening reality is this: When faced with such horrors, IF we are faced with them, we turn away. We click the red X, we punch the POWER button, we close our eyes. Just like they did.

The question that haunts me is this:

WHAT WILL IT TAKE?

What will it take for people to wake up? To stand up and take action? As God's people, we should be in the front lines of those seeking to bring justice to this world. With the new perspective God has given me, I am very well aware that the world will be a broken place until Christ Himself makes it new. However, we are called to be His image bearers, to be a light to a dark world. To seek justice, to stand up for the oppressed. To play a part in bringing restoration and healing to the brokenness. We are sleeping, though.

There were many times in that Holocaust tour that I was sorely tempted to close my eyes. The images were piercing and will forever be imprinted on my heart. As I am faced with current needs, with the many desperations that scar the world today, there are also times I want to close my eyes, to ignore brokenness that overwhelms a world I want to pretend is perfect. God calls us to live with open eyes, though. To ignore the urge to shout "lalalalala" when we get uncomfortable. To reach past our own relatively easy lives, to educate ourselves and our children about the needs in the world. To stand up for the broken.

I could easily get overwhelmed. There is so much brokenness, too much hurt for me to even comprehend. But God doesn't call us to be saviors...He calls us to be open to His work, to seek out His work and join Him in it. Brokenness is not a thing of the past, or a thing on the other side of the world...Brokenness is on your doorstep, in your churches, throughout your workplaces. Brokenness is everywhere, in many different guises. Will you close your eyes to it, shout "lalalala," and continue to live in the plush comfort of your own little world? Or will you be one of the few to stand up, to raise your hands in surrender and say, "I'LL go...USE me, God, to play a part in bringing your kingdom here on earth"? The choice is ours to make.

"Don't excuse yourself by saying, 'Look, we didn't know.' For God understands all hearts, and he sees you. He who guards your soul knows you knew. He will repay all people as their actions deserve" (Proverbs 24:12).

I'll leave you with one more picture from my trip...while I could go on (I'm in a chatty mood, I know...), I am entering a Thanksgiving technology fast.

So farewell Maryland (I really enjoyed everything you had to offer!), farewell all, and Happy Thanksgiving!

God's Conviction in a Little Boy

There is nothing like sickness to make me feel sorry for myself. I have had what started as a cold for almost 3 weeks now, and to be honest, I am just tired of it. I'm tired of tissues and snot and a hacking cough and just plain feeling crummy. I'm tired of being tired. And I've complained about it--in my head, but I've complained nonetheless.

This morning I was sitting in Panera, reading my Bible and sipping on some coffee, when I noticed a little boy across the room start to vomit. His mom gently held his head into a potato chip bag and softly soothed, loud enough for me to hear, "It's okay buddy, it's okay." I looked around and saw that no one was jumping up to help this woman and her sick little guy, so I moved to get some napkins and hand them to her as she started to clean up the mess. As she wiped up the vomit, I went back to what I was doing. Out of the corner of my eye, I noticed that the little boy went back to his lunch and his mom sat down next to him like nothing had happened. In my head, I started to judge her: "THIS is why we have a stomach flu epidemic! Moms like HER don't have enough polite regard for the public--aka, ME--to take this sick boy home instead of sitting with him in a public place to expose everyone to his germs!"

I have noticed that God uses the most simple, mundane moments to convict us of our most "simple, mundane" sins. As I moved to leave, I felt a hand on my shoulder and, as I turned around, I was greeted by the face of the woman I had been quietly judging. "Thanks again for the napkins," she said. Then she spoke the three words God used to convict my heart of too-quick judgments and a complaining and ungrateful attitude: "He has cancer."

I was shocked. After all, he didn't look like he had cancer. As I got in my car and drove away, conviction overwhelmed my heart and tears oozed from my eyes. While I have a nasty cold that has made life very uncomfortable, this little boy has a disease that is threatening even his ability to eat a little lunch. While I will "suffer" through my minor illness for maybe a few weeks, this little boy may not even live to "suffer" through such an annoyance. And before I even begin to pat myself on the back for merely laying some napkins on the table for this little guy, I stop to consider the great sacrifices made by his mother. She has chosen to allow her boy to live life to the fullest, undeterred by the judging stares flashed her way by strangers like me.

Today, won't you consider with me the abundance of blessings that scatter our paths? Once we see the beauty of all God has blessed us with, maybe we will have more compassion in our hearts and vigilance with our eyes to notice the hurt that also litters our path. Oh Lord, give me eyes to see past the obvious, to notice the immense hurt around me.

To Kiss Girl Nastiness Goodbye

Remember that time your girlfriend didn't invite you to her party and you felt really left out? I felt that feeling a lot growing up. I was lonely and felt like I didn't really belong anywhere. Thankfully, my mom and dad gave me the best advice they could have possibly given me in times of loneliness and girl drama, and that advice has stuck with me for a long time: Look for the other person who feels left out and become her friend.

Girls are funny. And by funny I mean funny complex. We feel unable, or perhaps not allowed, to communicate in the aggressive way boys communicate anger {with fists and shouts}, so we instead harbor grudges and use the undercover weapons of gossip, rumors, and backstabbing. We talk to her but not her. We invite her but not her...making sure she knows she's not invited. We use friendship as a weapon. And despite the many battle tactics wielded by the mean girl, everyone still wants to be one of the chosen elect that form her group of friends...we need affirmation that much. The sad thing is, girls never seem to grow out of this. We just get better at hiding our nasty undercover aggression, cloaking it in pretend kindness and {fake} smiles.

So what does it mean to be a godly woman, to communicate in a way that pleases God? Sometimes I wonder if I shouldn't just stop talking to girls altogether. Sure would be easier...right? Or maybe we should all just live in distant caves, only communicating with grunts when we need food or water. Do we resign ourselves to either fighting the battle or drowning our sorrows in chocolate? If so, I'll take the chocolate, please.

Thanks to my mom and dad, I learned a long time ago that there is another way. There is a higher road, a road that few dare to trod. It is the road that leads to godliness and the kind of heart fulfillment that only He can provide. Godly communication, communication from the heart of a woman who knows her God intimately...that's what I want. I am far from having this foreign language mastered, but I have picked up some hints along the way that I am trying to remember as I seek to walk the higher road:

~Putting someone down gets me nowhere.
~Gossip will only bite the gossiper in the butt.
~She is really not all that...Another words, having my identity tied to whether or not she likes me at the moment is going to lead to a very rocky existence. Having my identity built upon who I am in Christ, however...there is true fulfillment.
~Honesty may be painful but it is always better. I'm not very good at this one...I don't want to rock the boat. I'd rather brush it all under the rug and maintain my perfect image. I LIKE being liked...who doesn't? But sometimes it is better just to get it all out on the table and risk losing a friend or maybe even hurting some feelings...otherwise, all those buried emotions are going to rupture someday, and all you are going to be left with is a whole lot of pain and a big mess that will have resulted in nothing but heartache...a heartache much greater than the one you may have produced if you had just been honest in the first place.
~Using words is way more productive than using covert glances or hand gestures. I can't expect everyone to read my mind {or my face, for that matter}. Sometimes you just gotta come out and SAY it!
~I am NEVER alone. Not only do I have the constant companionship of my Savior and God, there are also many, many people who--guaranteed--feel alone too. Rather than waiting for someone to befriend you, be a friend to someone!
~It is only human to have feelings. However, in Christ I am a new creation...which means I no longer have to be controlled by my feelings. When someone does something that offends or hurts me, I can choose to let that control and guide me {and ruin my day/year/life}, or I can choose to take it to and leave it at the cross. How freeing is that?! By holding grudges or allowing ourselves to feel crushed by something someone else did or said, we are giving them the power to steer us. As a child of the Living God, I want HIM to steer me! *Ahem...I'm not very good at this one either...but I would really like to be!*
~"Dear children, let us not love with words or tongue, but with actions and in truth" (1 John 3:18). The best way to combat untruth, and unhealthy communication for that matter, is with actions and truth. I want to live and communicate with such Christ-like maturity and grace that "those who oppose [me] may be ashamed because they have nothing bad to say about [me]" (Titus 2:8).

What has God taught you about healthy communication from the heart of a woman?

A Fading Hope

Hope is Fading – Orphan Sunday from Allan Rosenow on Vimeo.