My NEXT STEP

If you have been reading this blog long enough, you may have seen THIS post. Or maybe you remember me writing the following words (nearly a year and a half ago!):

When I was little, my parents used to say to us kids all the time, "We would much rather you live in Africa serving God than for you to live next door serving your own desires." I remember thinking, "Africa! That is the last place I want to go!" I could not imagine willingly placing myself somewhere wild, a place teeming, I was sure, with wild animals and all sorts of other scary things. As I got older, it wasn't so much that a desire to AVOID the unknown prevailed my dreams. Rather, I just didn't HAVE any desire to travel or serve overseas. To serve? Yes. God impressed upon my heart a deep desire to serve sometime toward the beginning of high school. I didn't see myself like I saw my sister, though. My sister is brave and daring, always trying new things and loving them. I can never predict what my sister is going to do next (can she?), but I do know she will do it with zest and beautiful capability. While I can just get by in the realm of learning new languages, she thrives. I always believed that God would use me somewhere in my comfort zone, somewhere HERE, in the states.

Funny how God works. Don't freak out, mom. I'm not flying to Africa. I have just noticed that God is shifting my heart. God is pretty good at that. Think about it...Saul, a persecutor of Christians, becomes the leader of the early Christian church. David, a shepherd boy who tends to flocks of sheep, becomes the ruler of an entire nation of people. Abraham, a man with no heir, becomes the father of a nation. God puts people in positions of complete dependence on Him. God chooses people to do incredible work they are incapable of doing on their own, if only they will cooperate. I don't know about you, but I want to be a part of the big work God has planned. I don't want to look back and say, "Man! I wish I had had the ears to hear. I wish I had said yes. I wish I had followed that still, small voice telling me where to go." I know that God will accomplish His work, with or without me, but I don't want someone else doing work God has asked ME to do! So I'm trying to learn to be a visionary, to trust God even when He begins calling me somewhere or some way I am incapable of going.

I am incapable of serving God in Africa, in India, in Russia, in Mexico. I'm just wondering if God is saying, "Hmmm. Abigail will need a LOT of help if I send her THERE." He could easily call me to serve here, but I feel Him changing my heart. When I know that He will be with me every step of the way, wow! What a beautiful transformation, and one I welcome. I feel like I am coming to a place in my relationship with Him where I can say, "Where He leads, I WILL FOLLOW...even if it sounds absurd, or too hard, or just plain silly...I WILL FOLLOW." Will you?

Yes, God has been working on my heart, taking me on a new journey. I do not know where that journey will lead or where I will end up, but I wanted to share with you the NEXT STEP I am planning to take as I seek to FOLLOW Jesus into BROKENNESS, for surely "'it is not the healthy who need a doctor, but the sick...'" (Mark 2:17).

In June, I will be heading to Guatemala, a country located south of Mexico in Central America. I am going with a group from Hope Church and Caring Partners International, a medical missions organization.


If I'm going to be honest, and you know I am, I really don't know much about this land or the beautiful people that occupy it. Furthermore, I don't necessarily feel drawn to this land or these people. To Africa? Yes. Guatemala? Not really. At least, not yet. I am praying that God will burden my heart and put a fire in my bones for this land and these people. Despite a lack of "passion" for Guatemala (at first), I felt incredibly drawn to this journey, and every day I inch closer to our departure, my heart jumps a little higher. I am BELIEVING that God will work miracles in my heart during this 9 day trip, knowing that "He who began a good work in [me] will carry it on to completion..." (Phil. 1:6). I am also thrilled to have the chance to use what I am learning in nursing school to serve "the least of these."


We will be running free medical clinics in partnership with local churches located both in Guatemala City and Parramos. I am trusting God to provide everything I need--spiritually, mentally, physically, and financially--to do His work in Guatemala. I am also trusting God wholeheartedly to work powerfully in me and through me while I am there.

Part of the excitement beginning to well up inside of me stems from a beautiful gift I received for Christmas from my Aunt. She lovingly put together an anticipatory scrapbook of my time in Guatemala, complete with the beautiful photos you are looking at (from the N*tion*l Geogr*ph*c website) and handmade items from Guatemala to share with children I meet on my trip. As I paged through the book, I couldn't help but feel EXCITED about the journey I am preparing to take. Although this is a month overdue, THANK YOU SO MUCH, Aunt Lisa, for giving me such a beautiful gift! I can't wait to add my own pictures and thoughts to the scrapbook! Also, thank you to those who have joined me on this journey through prayer and financial support...I can't wait to share more with you as the time for my departure nears!

Adoption News and Thoughts on Waiting

Timothy is officially a KIRK!!! We are rejoicing tonight! Although there are 147 million orphans in the world, ONE MORE has a forever home! We got the phone call tonight that the Ethiopian courts had ruled today on Timothy's case...there was lots of screaming in this house = )

I am reminded tonight, once again, how often God uses WAITING to bring His plans to fruition. This morning I was reading the account of Joseph. For those of us reading the story thousands of years after it actually happened, it is easy to forget just how long Joseph waited on the Lord. He was 17, the Bible says, when God gave Him a dream...then he was thrown into a well, sold into slavery, harassed by his owner's wife only after he made them wealthy, and thrown into prison. I am intrigued and somewhat humored by the phrase that comes next: "Some time later..." I wonder how much "time" really passed. I wonder if it felt like a million years to Joseph, while to God it was obviously just a drop in the bucket of eternity. I wonder how Joseph passed his time in jail, if he began to question God's hand in his story.

I have to continually remind myself that God is writing MY story, that these days I am living ARE the destination. I often wonder when I am going to step into my God-ordained purpose, and then I remember that I am LIVING it right now, if only I will have the eyes to see it and the willing hands and heart to take hold of it. God never left Joseph. In fact, if I reflect on the account of his life in its entirety, God impacted a lot of people through Joseph in his years of "waiting." God wove an incredible story out of Joseph's life, a story that would have fallen apart without those painful years of serving an oppressive master and sitting in prison.

There are still days when I question God and wonder what I am doing in nursing school, why I can't be doing "greater" things for God...and then I remember that each day I live and breathe is another opportunity to serve those God has placed before me, to care for little hands and hearts, even if only in a gentle word of encouragement. If God can change the entire history of a nation through one man's willing hands and patient spirit while sitting in jail (for a crime he never committed), then I hope and pray He can use me as I flounder through school and often question His always PERFECT plan.

"WAIT on the Lord. Be strong and take heart and WAIT for the Lord" (Psalm 27:14).

The new year, 21, and Africa!

I am way behind and have lots to share, so excuse any rambling that commences  : )

While I love the idea of a fresh start, New Year's "resolutions," in my experience, are often a setup for failure. I am so thankful that, in Christ, we have a fresh start every day! His mercies are new every morning! I don't need to wait until a new year to make a new plan!

I have fought against unhealthy eating habits a great deal of my life. For years, my body image and self esteem suffered. As I have continued to grow in the knowledge of Jesus, I have come to a new understanding of who I am, and my self esteem is no longer married to the way I look (at least not nearly as much as it used to be). This new freedom has allowed me to look at bad habits in a new way. My body image is no longer tied to my abillity to break bad habits. However, my health is, and my desire is to lead a healthy life, not only so that I can set a good example for my patients, but also so I can better serve God in the things He leads me to do...not to mention the fact that I just feel better when I am making healthy choices!

I have learned in the past, though, that waiting until Jan.1st to make changes is not necessary, and often leads to the false belief that perhaps everything will be easier when I wake up on New Year's Day! So I have been trying to implement small changes every day throughout the past couple of months, while also remembering that I have a new start every day! I have an amazing sister who gets an email every day with a list of everything I ate that day...the accountability is not only helpful, it is completely necessary! Big changes happen in baby steps...so I will take baby steps! My next baby step, which I am already working on, is exercising regularly, which requires finding an activity I love to do! Several years ago I began running (for the wrong reasons, but running all the same), and I quickly got burnt out. But I am finding that there are parts of running I enjoy, so I have started to get back into it...slowly. Baby steps ; ) So, although I don't really do New Year's resolutions, I wanted to share about some changes I am trying to make in my lifestyle. What are some things you are doing to live a healthier life?

Since I last posted, I started classes again...and I also turned 21! I was blessed in many ways and by many people on my birthday, and I am so thankful for God's continuing grace and direction in my life as I enter "adulthood" : ) My sister took me out for an afternoon the day before my birthday...we had so much fun cooking and bargain shopping together!  To read about some of my other birthday ventures, check out THIS sweet post my friend Amy wrote. In addition to the festivities she highlights, I was also blessed to spend the evening with my friend Rebecca and her family...they showered me with treats and blessings, too! God truly has given me some incredible friends! I can't wait to see where God takes me in this next year of my life...with Him, life will always be an adventure!

Last but not least, guess what happens tomorrow?! Amy and Stephen, or my "second parents," are leaving to go meet their son in Africa! They can't bring him home this trip, but they will be one step closer to bringing him home forever! I will be staying with their 6 other kids, so for the next week or so I will be over HERE documenting our fun adventures while the parents are away! I am so thrilled to see this little guy come home to his forever family...it can't come soon enough for any of us!

I think that's enough rambling for now = )  Please be praying for the kids and I this week, as well as for their parents in Africa!