Guatemala: my dad's legacy

We were rumbling down a mountain, heading toward our last night in Guatemala. The bus held many tired but content people, and I couldn't miss the Holy Spirit's quiet voice ministering to my heart as the song "Great is Thy Faithfulness" played from the speaker. As the song faded into another, I was slightly jolted from my meditation of thanksgiving. These words poured over every part of me, coupled with tingles and goose bumps:

"In the morning, when I rise
In the morning, when I rise
In the morning, when I rise, give me Jesus..."

My mind raced back nearly two years, to a time when I stood next to my brother in a church, singing those very words. The refrain of my dad's life and legacy:

"Give me Jesus,
Give me Jesus,
You can have all this world,
But give me Jesus..."

That day in Guatemala, on the bus, I was overwhelmed by God's presence as I remembered.
Two years ago next Sunday, my daddy went to be with Jesus. As I watched the hills roll on by the window, big tears began to pour down my face because I realized something again: In all the pain I experienced throughout my dad's illness and death, in all the pain of missing him and longing to be with him again, GOD has been and IS faithful.

"When I am alone
When I am alone
When I am alone, give me Jesus"

There have been many moments since my dad left this earth that I have felt alone. I have felt the acute ache where he once resided. As I looked out that bus window, though, God gave me a glimpse of how far He has taken me since that awful day two summers ago. I realized that I never would have been sitting on that bus seat, had my daddy lived. Perhaps even more jarring a thought, I may have never known Jesus, had my daddy not made the life choices and taken the journey he did.

"Give me Jesus,
Give me Jesus,
You can have all this world,
But give me Jesus"

My daddy lived to know Jesus, but he died to see Jesus face to face. He was the closest glimpse I have ever had to knowing the Father. He instilled in me a love for people, a love for the lost...a love that took me to Guatemala. I wept on the bus, wishing that I could go home and sit in his lap, tell him all of my stories. It was all worth it, though. The pain of losing him, the pain of missing him, it led me to a beautiful country full of broken people. And I couldn't help but see him in my mind's eye, smiling because I was doing what he would have loved me to do, what he, on his death bed, pleaded me to do...I was loving Jesus.

My dad taught me that God can bring beauty out of pain. I think about the girl in the wheelchair, the pain she suffers every day. If I could tell her and her mama one thing, it would be that God redeems pain. He has redeemed my pain...and made beautiful things out of the dust that was once there. And He will redeem her pain too.

"When I come to die
When I come to die
When I come to die, give me Jesus

Give me Jesus,
Give me Jesus,
You can have all this world,
Just give me Jesus."***

Those words sum up my dad's life-and-death wish. He may not have lived an extravagant life, but when he came to die, he most certainly received the ultimate fulfillment of his deepest longing. As the music on the bus came to an end, the music in my heart only began. "You make beautiful things, you make beautiful things out of the dust..."


***lyrics to the song "Give Me Jesus"***

Guatemala: the girl in the wheelchair, part 2

I left you with a stricken mother, weeping tears of sorrow over the broken physical state of her daughter. I have to share the rest of the story with you, though, because I have come to know our God as Jehovah-Rapha, the God who heals. I wish I could tell you that precious M* got up out of her wheelchair that day and walked. There have been times in my life when I have wished that God healed in the way that I wanted him to heal. Certainly when my dad was gasping for breath as he moved from this world into eternity, I would have given anything to see him sit up, smile, and say that he was hanging around for a few more years. But God chose to heal his body for eternity. That day in Guatemala, God chose to heal M*'s mama eternally as well...not in body, but in spirit.

As we prayed over M*, begging God to heal her seizures and her permanently dislocated hip, one of our team members quietly asked M*'s mom if she knew Jesus. She whispered that she had not accepted Him as her Savior. Would she like to? Her tears rolled plenty as she talked to God, asking Him to save her and heal her heart. And heal her He did.


M* is in the gray shirt on the left; her mama is to the right of her.

I will never understand God's ways, for they are far above my own. Had I had my own way that day, M* would have gotten a few pills from us and been released from her physical misery. She and her mama also would have continued on their way, untouched by the eternal power of God's love and salvation. Praise Jesus that His ways are not the same as my own. Did God give her the seizures that torment her every day? Did God prevent her from receiving medical care after she dislocated her hip? I don't believe so. I do believe that God used M*'s physical brokenness to lead her and her equally spiritually broken mama to our clinic that day, where He gave us the great privilege of ministering to them His healing love. God used their pain and hurt to bring them to the Living Water...to a healing that will not fade with the brokenness of this creation, but that will carry them into an eternity of forever healing.

God may still heal M*'s ailments on this earth. He is certainly capable, and I pray that He does. But I rejoice in knowing that He has healed her and her mother for eternity! People may look at M* and say that she is no better off than before she came to us that day. If only they knew the implications of the spiritual restoration she and her mama experienced that day...maybe they would not diminish eternal healing in the face of temporary physical brokenness.

We saw M*'s mama one more time, the very next day. She had a grin on her face, from ear to ear, and an unmistakable joy in her heart. Praise God, Jehovah-Rapha...the God who HEALS.

Guatemala: The girl in the wheelchair, Part 1

It was new, all new. I just sat there, seeking to comprehend everything that was going on around me and trying to learn my new role as nurse-caregiver-Spanish speaker (AHEM). People shuffled in and out faster than I could put names to faces. I nearly missed her. But there was something about her face, an anguish that could not be mistaken for anything else. With her were four young children, including a girl, perhaps 8 or 9 years old, occupying a wheelchair.

As this young mom poured out the story of her broken heart, tears formed trails down the dust cloaking her face. With the help of our incredibly compassionate interpreter, she shared the story of her daughter, the girl in the wheelchair. Born with a congenital seizure disorder, M* never goes more than a day or two without facing a debilitating seizure. Years ago, M* dislocated one of her hips, an injury that was never corrected. Without surgery, M* will be confined to a wheelchair permanently.

As M*'s mama sobbed over her daughter's broken state, the love she had for her daughter could not have been more clearly conveyed. She desperately wanted us to fix her child, her baby. There was nothing we could do to fix M*. As our team doctor gently conveyed, again through our interpreter, that he could not take M*'s seizures away or give her the surgery she needed so that she could walk again, my own eyes began to fill with tears.

I could tell M*'s mama would do anything in her power to take away the suffering faced by her daughter every single day. As I wept with everyone else in the room, I was reminded of another Parent, a loving Father who surely cried tears of anguish as He watched His only Son suffer and die the death of a criminal. I cannot begin to imagine the distress this Father felt as He watched His only Son beaten, whipped, and tortured beyond recognition, then hung on a cross and mocked with contempt. Surely He knew this mother's grief. Surely He loved her more than she could comprehend, so much so that He chose to refrain from rescuing His beloved Son from the pain of torture. The tears of a mother, unable to "fix" the hurts of her child, surely fell that day into the mighty hands of a Father who was not unfamiliar with the grief from which those tears poured.

Part 2 to come...

Guatemala Video

I wanted to share some pictures with those of you who have been following my journey to Guatemala and back. I hope it gives you a small glimpse into my time there! Please join me in praying for the men and women and children I encountered while there...many of whom you will meet in this video. If the font is too small to read, enter full screen mode by pushing the button in the bottom right hand corner of the video. Enjoy!

Guatemala: The widow's mite

When do we learn to hoard our vast-beyond-measure stuff? When does the chubby baby sharing a saliva-slimed cracker with anyone and everyone turn into the intemperate toddler who must have everything? Is there salvation for our greedy hearts?

^"1 As Jesus looked up, he saw the rich putting their gifts into the temple treasury. ² He also saw a poor widow put in two very small copper coins. ³ “Truly I tell you,” he said, “this poor widow has put in more than all the others. ⁴ All these people gave their gifts out of their wealth; but she out of her poverty put in all she had to live on" (from Luke 21).

She came and sat down before me, weary from the load she literally and figuratively carried. She smiled shyly, and I was immediately captured by her joyful smile and the radiant beauty of the daughter she held in her lap. Through a translator, we quickly said our hellos and moved onto the more serious matter, that of the medical needs she and her daughter shared. With the resources brought over by our team from the States, I did my best to help her. I gave her a toothbrush and vitamins, some medicine for their ailments. A mite from our millions.

She returned with a mite from her poverty, proving her richness in spirit. As she was standing to leave, repeating over and over, "Gracias, gracias, muchas gracias," she slipped the ruby red headband off of her head and handed it to me. A gift from the richness of her heart.


The red headband is not the most expensive gift I have ever received, nor the most extravagant. It stole my breath just the same, as did what seemed like hundreds of other love offerings I received over the course of my time in Guatemala.

America may be one of the richest countries in the world as far as material wealth goes, but while I was in Guatemala, I watched more than one widow offer her only mite to Jesus. In some ways, they have more than we could ever hope to have.

To conclude our week of clinics, we were blessed by an incredible body of believers who worked alongside us in their own church building. They held a service in celebration of God's work, giving each member of our 31-member team a beautiful gift...a mite from their poverty, from the richness of their hearts.

What have you done with your wealth?

Guatemala: I didn't know, but He knew

"Then your light will break forth like the dawn, and your healing will quickly appear; then your righteousness will go before you, and the glory of the LORD will be your rear guard" (Isaiah 58:8)

Where do I begin? Last fall, God led me to apply for a medical mission trip to Guatemala with my church. I did not know what lay ahead...but He did. I did not know that this beautiful, mountainous country would grab a hold of my heart and steal my breath. I did not know that my mind and hands would be captivated by the work of serving the medical needs of some of the most poverty-stricken people on this earth. I did not know that I would work side by side with new friends who love Jesus passionately. I did not know...but He did.

Many of you have been following my journey to Guatemala, supporting me in prayer and with financial gifts. I cannot thank you enough. God is using you to touch lives thousands of miles away...and I pray that He continues to reap what has been sown.

Over the next several weeks, I will share stories of God's work in Guatemala...and needs that I saw and experienced there, for which you can continue to pray. We saw an estimated 2,000 patients while there, and nearly 100 people accepted Christ. The people I met and touched and hugged are not numbers, though. They are children of the living God...and I can't wait to introduce you to some of them.

To Him be the glory!

And we're off!!!

Off to Guatemala...please pray for the team and I! Will post more upon my return = )

Crazy people...faithful God

Since the beginning of the year, I have been working my way through the Old testament. You know what ALWAYS blows me away? It doesn't matter if I've heard the "stories" once or a thousand times...God uses the CRAZIEST people to do His work here on earth! Seriously. I mean, we've all heard the account of Noah, and Abraham, and Moses...all loony in their own way, of course. But really. A donkey??? A woman shoving a tent spike through a man's head??? An "army" of 300 men, "fighting" by banging a bunch of clay pots together??? Wow. If one thing is clear, it's that God has quite the imagination!

All silliness aside, I have been so encouraged by my time in the Old Testament...I am reminded day in and day out that God loves to use ordinary, sometimes stupid (and always inadequate) people to do His work. I'm encouraged because I pretty much ace that description.

I left school today feeling a little bit disheartened. We had been practicing a very important nursing skill, and I just couldn't seem to get it right! If I had been "practicing" the skill on a live person, he would have been dead 3 times over! There are days when I think, "God, I don't think this was such a good idea. How am I EVER going to do this?" Today was one of those days. But then I climbed into my car, and you know what blew up on the sky-canvas right in front of me?

The most beautiful reminder of God's faithfulness...in the form of a ribbon of color lacing the stormy sky. At the same time, these words crooned through the radio: "'Cause if He started this work in your life, He will be faithful to complete it...If only you believe it!" He knew I needed these simple reminders of His faithfulness...and His ability to take my inadequacy and use it to His glory.

A couple of months ago, I shared with you all about the new journey God is taking me on. It is hard to believe, but in 2 months, I will be in Guatemala! To be honest, I don't know what I stepped into when I signed up for this trip!

A couple of weeks ago at our team meeting, we met the doctor who will be traveling and working with our team. While he lives and works in the United States, he humbly shared that he has been on more than 90 medical missions trips. 90! I think my eyes were probably bigger than ever as he went through a slide show of tropical diseases we could encounter as we seek to love and care for the people there. Ahem. I won't post any of those pictures here, as I would hate for you to have to make a not-so-fun trip to the restroom = ) Needless to say, as I think about this upcoming trip God is preparing me for, it is easy to feel overwhelmed, unprepared, and yes, inadequate. Thankfully, He loves inadequate! And He loves to prove His faithfulness!

I want to share a huge praise and some prayer requests...humbly asking that you would consider praying for me in the next few months as I prepare to follow God's leading to Guatemala:

First of all, I am MORE than fully funded!!! Praise God for His provision, and thank you so much to those of you who have partnered with me on this journey!

As the time of my departure nears, please be praying for:
~My heart, that God would continue to instill in me a deep love and compassion for the people of Guatemala
~For team unity...we are essentially going to be setting up makeshift "urgent care" centers in churches, a feat that requires quite a bit of team work and patience!

~For the people we will encounter, that God would go ahead of us and prepare their hearts.
~For health, safety, and organization as we prepare supplies and medications for our departure in late June.

I stand before you as a work in progress...and as a reminder that God uses the foolish things of this world to shame the wise!

All for His glory,

My NEXT STEP

If you have been reading this blog long enough, you may have seen THIS post. Or maybe you remember me writing the following words (nearly a year and a half ago!):

When I was little, my parents used to say to us kids all the time, "We would much rather you live in Africa serving God than for you to live next door serving your own desires." I remember thinking, "Africa! That is the last place I want to go!" I could not imagine willingly placing myself somewhere wild, a place teeming, I was sure, with wild animals and all sorts of other scary things. As I got older, it wasn't so much that a desire to AVOID the unknown prevailed my dreams. Rather, I just didn't HAVE any desire to travel or serve overseas. To serve? Yes. God impressed upon my heart a deep desire to serve sometime toward the beginning of high school. I didn't see myself like I saw my sister, though. My sister is brave and daring, always trying new things and loving them. I can never predict what my sister is going to do next (can she?), but I do know she will do it with zest and beautiful capability. While I can just get by in the realm of learning new languages, she thrives. I always believed that God would use me somewhere in my comfort zone, somewhere HERE, in the states.

Funny how God works. Don't freak out, mom. I'm not flying to Africa. I have just noticed that God is shifting my heart. God is pretty good at that. Think about it...Saul, a persecutor of Christians, becomes the leader of the early Christian church. David, a shepherd boy who tends to flocks of sheep, becomes the ruler of an entire nation of people. Abraham, a man with no heir, becomes the father of a nation. God puts people in positions of complete dependence on Him. God chooses people to do incredible work they are incapable of doing on their own, if only they will cooperate. I don't know about you, but I want to be a part of the big work God has planned. I don't want to look back and say, "Man! I wish I had had the ears to hear. I wish I had said yes. I wish I had followed that still, small voice telling me where to go." I know that God will accomplish His work, with or without me, but I don't want someone else doing work God has asked ME to do! So I'm trying to learn to be a visionary, to trust God even when He begins calling me somewhere or some way I am incapable of going.

I am incapable of serving God in Africa, in India, in Russia, in Mexico. I'm just wondering if God is saying, "Hmmm. Abigail will need a LOT of help if I send her THERE." He could easily call me to serve here, but I feel Him changing my heart. When I know that He will be with me every step of the way, wow! What a beautiful transformation, and one I welcome. I feel like I am coming to a place in my relationship with Him where I can say, "Where He leads, I WILL FOLLOW...even if it sounds absurd, or too hard, or just plain silly...I WILL FOLLOW." Will you?

Yes, God has been working on my heart, taking me on a new journey. I do not know where that journey will lead or where I will end up, but I wanted to share with you the NEXT STEP I am planning to take as I seek to FOLLOW Jesus into BROKENNESS, for surely "'it is not the healthy who need a doctor, but the sick...'" (Mark 2:17).

In June, I will be heading to Guatemala, a country located south of Mexico in Central America. I am going with a group from Hope Church and Caring Partners International, a medical missions organization.


If I'm going to be honest, and you know I am, I really don't know much about this land or the beautiful people that occupy it. Furthermore, I don't necessarily feel drawn to this land or these people. To Africa? Yes. Guatemala? Not really. At least, not yet. I am praying that God will burden my heart and put a fire in my bones for this land and these people. Despite a lack of "passion" for Guatemala (at first), I felt incredibly drawn to this journey, and every day I inch closer to our departure, my heart jumps a little higher. I am BELIEVING that God will work miracles in my heart during this 9 day trip, knowing that "He who began a good work in [me] will carry it on to completion..." (Phil. 1:6). I am also thrilled to have the chance to use what I am learning in nursing school to serve "the least of these."


We will be running free medical clinics in partnership with local churches located both in Guatemala City and Parramos. I am trusting God to provide everything I need--spiritually, mentally, physically, and financially--to do His work in Guatemala. I am also trusting God wholeheartedly to work powerfully in me and through me while I am there.

Part of the excitement beginning to well up inside of me stems from a beautiful gift I received for Christmas from my Aunt. She lovingly put together an anticipatory scrapbook of my time in Guatemala, complete with the beautiful photos you are looking at (from the N*tion*l Geogr*ph*c website) and handmade items from Guatemala to share with children I meet on my trip. As I paged through the book, I couldn't help but feel EXCITED about the journey I am preparing to take. Although this is a month overdue, THANK YOU SO MUCH, Aunt Lisa, for giving me such a beautiful gift! I can't wait to add my own pictures and thoughts to the scrapbook! Also, thank you to those who have joined me on this journey through prayer and financial support...I can't wait to share more with you as the time for my departure nears!