After sharing with you what God has laid on my heart regarding foster care, I also have to share with you that my first instinct as I start to look down that road is to start making lists of everything I need to read and research, everything I need to DO. If only it were that easy. And while all that is not necessarily bad, God is revealing to me that it should never be first.
I have been reading through the book Relentless Hope, by Beth Guckenberger, and last night I had a chance to finish it over a cup of coffee. I had such a sweet time of prayer and reflection, and I really felt like God taught me a lot in the hour that I spent sitting outside in the dark with Him.
God has begun to give me a vision for the ministry He has laid on my heart, speaking to me through His Word and some of Beth's writing. Beth writes the following in Relentless Hope:
"Relentless hope has a fierceness about it, but it shouldn't be mistaken for ruthlessness or inconsiderateness. The fierceness represents the seriousness with which we face our opposition in this world. It's a fierce way of praying, a fierce way we stare down the lion circling the prey, or a fierce entrance into a fiery furnace. A kind of standing-your-ground that refreshingly isn't dependent on the latest polls, the opinions of others, or even a track record. It is instead a fierce hope in the One who has already accomplished all that is needed to bring peace and grace into a chaotic world and a confidence we are on the right team."
Friends, I am not a parent. I have certainly watched a lot of parents raise their children. I have cared for a lot of children. But I myself have never parented. It is easy to become overwhelmed with the thought of jumping into the parenting journey with children from "hard places," but God began to whisper to my heart last night that I need to grow in my confidence that I am on the right team...His team. And more important than any "correct parenting style", I need to be willing to fight for these precious kids with a relentless hope...to believe against all odds that they can find healing and peace in the midst of their chaotic worlds through Christ Jesus alone.
Beth interviewed a man facing considerable grief over many different losses, and he shared the following with her, recounted in her book: "The most helpful people to me are those who are willing to count the cost of stepping into the experience of someone in deep pain and who allow themselves to offer what truly matters in that moment--a heart willing to share the pain." God brought this question to my heart: Am I willing to the count the cost, to step down into the muddy pit of pain that so many of these kids face? Am I willing to offer them my heart, to share in their pain? I can learn thousands of parenting techniques, but Jesus is the only one who can capture and transform broken hearts. Am I willing to carry these kids to Him? No matter how broken their little hearts are? Am I willing to stick with them through the valleys and the mountains, to hold onto relentless hope for them and with them?
As I have already begun to pray for these kids, God has given me the vision, the calling, to be a part of "extracting the precious from the worthless" in the lives of these kids. The following Scripture passage (from Jeremiah 15) has become my plea, my prayer, and my mission:
18 Why has my pain been perpetual
And my wound incurable, refusing to be healed?
Will You indeed be to me like a deceptive stream with water that is unreliable?
19 Therefore, thus says the LORD,
“If you return, then I will restore you—
Before Me you will stand;
And if you extract the precious from the worthless, You will become My spokesman...
20 “Then I will make you to this people
A fortified wall of bronze...
For I am with you to save you
And deliver you,” declares the LORD.
I am praying that God empowers me to extract the precious from the worthless...to see the beautiful things that God wants to plant in the mud, to believe in His redemption for these kids and to cling to it with relentless hope.
I will still read parenting books, I'm sure. I will still make lists and I will still research. But through it all, I will pray. I will whisper these words over and over again:
"Show me the right path, Oh Lord. Point out the road for me to follow" (Psalm 25:4).
And more than anything, I will believe that He makes beautiful things...no matter the mess we give Him to work with.
I don't like to throw the word "calling" around very often because, well, I think it's misused frequently. For example, we justify what WE want to do by saying that "God called us to do it." But I can't explain what I am about to share with you without using this word, because there really is no other way to explain it.
When I was a sophomore in high school, a little girl in my community was murdered by the very people who were supposed to love and protect her. From that moment on, my heart toward the hurting child was claimed. In the time since then, God has repeatedly exposed me to this area of ministry...often through funny, unorthodox ways. Before little A*'s story made it onto the front page of our local newspaper, I never once gave a thought to foster care. I never thought I could handle it. Ever since that day, though, when I first read little A*'s story, there really has never been a question in my mind. God has fashioned my heart for the purpose of loving His little ones. I don't say this lightly, and I am not just throwing this word around...but God has CALLED me to this.
I just had the most amazing 3 hour conversation with a friend who has sacrificed so much for the sake of this "crazy" call to be a foster parent. Being with her, hearing her heart and sharing mine with her...brought me so much joy, and just reaffirmed what God has already been putting before me.
I have one year left in school. I am not married, not even seriously dating anyone. I have no idea where I am going to live or work after I finish school. But I do know that God has made my heart to do this. I know that people will disagree with the path my life takes, that I will be questioned and misunderstood and even called "crazy." And while I can't say that it won't be hard, I am more than excited to begin to walk down this road with God's help. After all, don't we read account after account of God leading His people to do "crazy" things? From Noah, to David, to Paul...the Bible is full of such "crazy" stories, lives transformed by faith.
Please pray for me, friends. That my faith would grow, that God would give me His heart for these kids, that He would guide me in the next several months as I start to consider what this is going to look like. And never say never...God likes to prove us wrong ; )
Many people might want to throw their computers out the window after they read what I am about to write. Keep reading anyway.
Here it goes....
Being pro-life is not everything.
Are you still there?
Let me elaborate...
There is a difference between being anti-death and being pro-life. One can oppose death and at the same time not actively support life.
Understand where I'm at?
A couple of months ago, I sat across from a young girl, holding her hands and welcoming her tears. Let me tell you her story. "Lashawna" is homeless. She sleeps on friends' couches and takes a meal where she can get it. She has no contact with her family...if you can even call "them" that. Her father abandoned the family when Lashawna was a baby. Lashawna's mother was physically abusive to all 3 of her kids, but especially to Lashawna's younger sister, who has some special needs. Lashawna and her sisters were removed from the home and passed from foster home to foster home until, at 18, Lashawna aged out of the system...which pretty much brings us full circle. Homeless. Familyless. Hopeless. And now pregnant. Lashawna came to me considering abortion.
It is easy to check a box on a ballot. It's easy to spout off an easily defined conviction at a cocktail party. But what do you say to Lashawna?
Homeless. Familyless. Hopeless.
I can tell her not to abort her baby.
I cannot guarantee she will have help raising her baby.
I cannot guarantee she will have a place to live.
I cannot promise that she will have the resources to buy prenatal vitamins and diapers.
I cannot promise that her child "won't end up like me...being passed from home to home" if she chooses adoption.
I can tell her not to abort her baby. But I can't promise her any of those other things, because there are plenty of statistics to sabotage those promises. Unless I choose to be actively pro-life for her and her child, they will end up being just another one of those statistics (and there are plenty not-so-good-ones to choose from).
~~~~~~~~
Recently, I stumbled across THIS ARTICLE. Oh my. It is pretty much my heart, summed up on a page.
Friends, we are so eager to shout to the world that we are "PRO-LIFE!" But are we truly pro-life, or just anti-death?
I am terrified to admit it, but I must say that my answer to Kinsey Thurlow's question would have to be "no." There are hundreds of thousands of kids waiting to be adopted here in the US. Millions more around the world. If we, the people of God, are not even caring for these kids, why would we be arrogant enough to think we could take on thousands more? ***I am by NO MEANS saying that abortion is right, good, or any of the like. (And I'm also not saying that GOD could not handle the thousands of lives that are in jeopardy here)***
I'm just giving you something to think about at your next cocktail party...Abortion creates brokenness. However, the faces behind abortion are complicated. They are hurting. They are also uniquely beautiful. And they need us to be pro-LIFE for THEM, too...not just for their babies.
I've heard a couple of people respond to Thurlow's article by saying that God's people have not been educated about foster care and adoption, that what we need to do is focus on educating people about the need.
As a full-time student (who has been a student pretty much since she was born), I'm here to educate YOU about...well, education.
learning [lur-ning]:
--noun
1. by systematic study in any field of scholarly application.
2. the act or process of acquiring knowledge or skill.
3. the modification of behavior through practice, training, or experience.
Let me just say this. It is the job of my professors to present information. As a nursing student, it is my job to show up to class, study the reading material, review what is presented, and apply, both to my life and to my nursing practice, the information I am receiving. My professors do not bang on my door each morning, make sure I am up and reading my textbooks, lead me to class, or watch me review. These things are not in their job description.
I'm sure there is truth to the statement: "The Church has not been educated about foster care and adoption." I'm also sure that God longs for His people to actively pursue His heart...to actively pray that He would burden them with the things that burden His heart. I'm sure that He longs for His people to study His Word, to intentionally look for ways to carry out His work here on earth.
So here is my plea. Don't let ignorance be the barrier between you and God's heart. Don't wait for someone to spoon-feed you. Take it upon yourself to learn His likes and dislikes, His passions and burdens. PRAY that God would reveal to you ways you can be not only anti-death, but also PRO-LIFE. STUDY God's Word...I'm pretty sure you'll see God's heart for the oppressed shine through. REVIEW how God might have you act. {And don't think, by any means, that I am not including myself in this plea...I am, as you read this, taking a dose of my own medicine.}
Let's give people like Lashawna a reason to believe they do not have to resign themselves to the statistics. Let's come alongside them and give them a home, a family, and a hope in the God who loves them more than they could even fathom. I may not be able to promise many things, but I can guarantee that our God is not only against death, but also very much for LIFE. And He longs to raise LIFE out of death...through the hands and feet and servant hearts of His people.
