Because I am a dork...

...I read parenting books. Yep, that's right. Parenting books.

I know that God made me to be a mom. In fact, I've known for quite a while. According to my sister, I came out of the womb saying, "I want babies! I want babies!" Uh, yeah. Something like that.
I know this makes me a dork and all kinds of weird in some people's eyes, but I figure...if I know what God wants me to do (at least in part), why not start reading up now? I don't want to stumble into the role of parent. I want to model intentionality to the kids that I believe God will one day entrust into my care. So I read parenting books. And plead with God the whole time that He would grow me into the godly woman He is preparing to lead these children.

Being a dork, I thought I would share with you some of the books I am currently reading. Take it or leave it = )

Book #1:
GREAT read. Here's an incredible thought: What if you raised your son or daughter to know and love Jesus intimately, then he or she went on to share the love of Jesus with 10 people, who went on to share the love of Jesus with 10 people, who...well, do you catch my drift? By intentionally pouring into your own child, you are potentially impacting the world for Christ. That is the basis of this book.

Book #2:

Because I have a passion and perhaps a calling to one day minister to kids from hard places, I am always interested in reading more about creative discipline methods. This book is a wealth of ideas...and some of them are pretty funny too = ) A great resource, in my opinion, and fully principled from God's Word!

Book #3:
I just started reading this book, but already I can tell I will like it. In this rush-rush culture, the family dinner has fallen to the waste side...a very sad turn of events, in my opinion. This book is all about reviving the family dinner and enhancing it to be a fun and meaningful family time! It is FULL of creative ideas, all the way from how to decorate the table to how to involve your children in the preparation process. There are recipes to try too = )

Book #4:
Because God uses the most unlikely people to change the world for Him, children are TOO SMALL TO IGNORE. God has a plan and a purpose for the children you touch shoulders with every day...and a reason why He has you touching shoulders with them. Great read.

Book #5:
This is not so much a parenting book as it is an EVERYONE book...because there really are FIELDS of the fatherless.

Book #6:
It's always a good thing, in my opinion, to better understand your child or the children in your life. To know what fuels their little hearts and fills their "love tanks"...important stuff!

Book #7:
I haven't read this one yet, but I'm excited to = ) The front cover gives a pretty good synopsis.

Book #8:
This is another one on my to-read-list. It is a memoir about one family's adoption journey into a large family...supposedly with a good dose of humor added. I will let you know = )

Book #9:
Many adoptive parents would say this is a must read for the parent of children from hard places. Definitely a great resource! The author, Karen Purvis, and her team also hold yearly conferences and have a website full of other great resources for foster/adoptive parents. I am really hoping to make it to one of her conferences soon!

Book #10:
I may be a dork, but I'm not stupid. I realize that parenting is a HARD job, but it is also a DIVINE privilege and RESPONSIBILITY. I'm not a parent yet {obviously}...and I know I can never be one without God's HELP and WISDOM. Yes, I read parenting books. I also spend a lot of time {often while reading the other books} praying that God would equip me for the role of parent...so that whenever He may allow me the privilege of taking on such a role, I will not just stumble into it, but will take it on with grace, humility, and God-strength.

So there you have it...a taste of my parenting-book obsession. If you know of any other good books, please fill me in...I'm always on the lookout = )

A Quiet Epidemic

In America,
63% of youth suicides
71% of pregnant teenagers
70% of juveniles in state-operated institutions
85% of all youth who exhibit behavior disorders
71% of high school dropouts
85% of teenagers in prison

...come from fatherless homes.

Recently, I finished reading the book Fatherless Generation, by John Sowers. While I was saddened by the above statistics that greeted me within the first few pages of the book, I was even more saddened by my lack of surprise at Sowers' grim account of the pandemic of fatherlessness in America. Shouldn't statistics like these shock me?! Shouldn't I be appalled?!

The reality is, I see these statistics every day. I go to school with these statistics. I sit next to these statistics in church. I counsel these statistics every week at the local crisis pregnancy center. I goof off with these statistics every Sunday night at youth group functions. I pass these statistics in the grocery, on the street, at the post office. These statistics...are faces. They are names. They are real, live, hurting people. And somehow, I become numb to the faces, to the wound that has assailed them all...the wound called fatherlessness. Familylessness.

As I read the last page of Sowers' book and shut the cover, I was bewildered, confused even. How did we get to this place? Where do we go from here? What does all this mean for me? Is there any way to redeem the brokenness that has scarred millions of lives?

I was blessed with 18 years of life under the love and guardianship of an incredible dad. I never wondered if I was loved or protected. I was always tucked in at night, hugged and kissed and played with...by a dad who loved Jesus more than life itself.

What must it be like to grow up without a daddy? Worse still, what must it be like to grow up without a daddy OR a mommy?

Honestly, I cannot even begin to fathom what these kids (and now men and women) have faced...and are still facing. I know the pain of missing my dad, of missing the many roles that he once filled to overflowing in my life. I know the pain of longing for his strength and love and protection. But I cannot begin to comprehend what it must be like to have never known a loving parent.

Which leaves me with the question...what do I do? What do WE do? What does the Church do? Is there any redemption to be found, any hope for these lives buried in brokenness and pain?

It would be easy for me to pass the buck on to someone else. After all, I'm a 21-year-old girl, for crying out loud! The world says I should be living it up, drinking away my weekends and sleeping away my week days. It's not that easy, though.

I have been confronted with a burden, a glimpse into brokenness. And now that I have seen, I am responsible.

Who God Made Me to Be

I LOVE that God's word is alive and active. I was praying the other day about what God had me here on this earth to do...what is the heart of my mission here? God has equipped me individually and specifically for a unique ministry on this earth. WHAT IS IT? As I was praying, I remembered a passage I had read a couple of years ago. I flipped to it again, and discovered...THIS is my mission. THIS is the heart of why God created me:

"If you spend yourselves in behalf of the hungry and satisfy the needs of the oppressed, then your light will rise in darkness, and your night will become like noonday. The Lord will guide you always; he will satisfy your needs in a sun-scorched land and will strengthen your frame. You will be like a well-watered garden, like a spring whose waters never fail. your people will rebuild the ancient ruins and will raise up the age-old foundations; You will be called Repairer of Broken Walls, Restorer of Streets with Dwellings" (Is. 58:10-12).

This passage captures the heart of the vision God has laid on my heart for the time I have on this earth. If I had to describe, in one word, the person God is fashioning me to be, it would be a NURTERER. I am a nurterer. And I love the image of a gardener tenderly caring for thirsty and dying plants, restoring a dying garden to its once thriving state. THAT is who God made me to be! There are children and men and women all around the world dying of THIRST. Thirst for the Living Water. God has called me to be His Waterer...the one who NURTURES His children back to LIFE in Him. I want to be like a "spring whose waters never fail" so that I can be POURING into the lives of the THIRSTY. At the end of my life and ministry here on this earth, I want people to remember that Jesus TRULY IS a Repairer of Broken Walls, a Restorer of Streets with Dwellings! He is a Repairer of broken lives, a Restorer of men and women and children who, according to the world, were a "lost cause!"

I am so thankful God is allowing me to take part in His work.

As I was thinking about the different roles of a "nurterer," several came to mind that I still need to grow into. I am praying that God continues to fashion me into the "gardener" he wants me to be! These are the roles I am praying He would grow me to fill in the lives of His children:

Encourager
Treasurer
Protector
Fosterer
Teacher
Healer
Refiner
Sustainer
Comforter
Supporter
Cultivator
Keeper
Embracer

I had never heard this song before today, but I think it, too, captures the heart of who Jesus wants me to be in this world! I WANT to be His love to a dying people! I want to be His voice, His hands, His chain-breaker, His peace-maker, His hope! Ultimately, I want to carry the broken to the cross.

What does God have YOU here to do?
If you are still breathing, He has you here for a PURPOSE.