A Quiet Epidemic

In America,
63% of youth suicides
71% of pregnant teenagers
70% of juveniles in state-operated institutions
85% of all youth who exhibit behavior disorders
71% of high school dropouts
85% of teenagers in prison

...come from fatherless homes.

Recently, I finished reading the book Fatherless Generation, by John Sowers. While I was saddened by the above statistics that greeted me within the first few pages of the book, I was even more saddened by my lack of surprise at Sowers' grim account of the pandemic of fatherlessness in America. Shouldn't statistics like these shock me?! Shouldn't I be appalled?!

The reality is, I see these statistics every day. I go to school with these statistics. I sit next to these statistics in church. I counsel these statistics every week at the local crisis pregnancy center. I goof off with these statistics every Sunday night at youth group functions. I pass these statistics in the grocery, on the street, at the post office. These statistics...are faces. They are names. They are real, live, hurting people. And somehow, I become numb to the faces, to the wound that has assailed them all...the wound called fatherlessness. Familylessness.

As I read the last page of Sowers' book and shut the cover, I was bewildered, confused even. How did we get to this place? Where do we go from here? What does all this mean for me? Is there any way to redeem the brokenness that has scarred millions of lives?

I was blessed with 18 years of life under the love and guardianship of an incredible dad. I never wondered if I was loved or protected. I was always tucked in at night, hugged and kissed and played with...by a dad who loved Jesus more than life itself.

What must it be like to grow up without a daddy? Worse still, what must it be like to grow up without a daddy OR a mommy?

Honestly, I cannot even begin to fathom what these kids (and now men and women) have faced...and are still facing. I know the pain of missing my dad, of missing the many roles that he once filled to overflowing in my life. I know the pain of longing for his strength and love and protection. But I cannot begin to comprehend what it must be like to have never known a loving parent.

Which leaves me with the question...what do I do? What do WE do? What does the Church do? Is there any redemption to be found, any hope for these lives buried in brokenness and pain?

It would be easy for me to pass the buck on to someone else. After all, I'm a 21-year-old girl, for crying out loud! The world says I should be living it up, drinking away my weekends and sleeping away my week days. It's not that easy, though.

I have been confronted with a burden, a glimpse into brokenness. And now that I have seen, I am responsible.

When the Credits Roll

The other day, I was reading some old "thoughts" of mine, and I stumbled upon the following entry...Written almost exactly a year ago, and yet it still resonates with my heart. As I get closer and closer to the end of school (at least, the end of this phase of school), my prayer is that those looking on would see only one name listed when the "credits" roll. As I begin to explore where God will lead me next, my prayer is that my only "role model" will be that humble God-man who, centuries ago, gave up His throne for a towel and foot-basin.

From April 2010:

When the Credits Roll

After reading through blog posts of brothers and sisters around the world, glorying in their adventures and mourning with them in their sorrows, I hit the red X at the top left of my screen prematurely. I can't help it. I don't want to READ more tales of large-scale obedience; I want to live my own story! I want to be the one on the other side of this black box, feeding the hungry and loving the abandoned. I want to be a part of something big, a grand motion picture that leaves the audience weeping when the credits roll! So I climb into my Daddy's lap with that all too eager grin, saying with my face and not my mouth, "Can I, God? Can I?!?!"

And He says "No."

No. Because He knows that, left to my own devices, I would end up in the slum of my own devastated pride. My plans would torch, despite my best intentions to waterproof them. He knows I would leave audiences weeping, but not because of my grand, flawlessly executed schemes to save the day. No, they would be crying because my meager attempts to change the course of history would do nothing. The sick would still be sick. The lost would still be lost. The hungry would only be more hungry. And I pretended I could do what I never can. No happy ending...just the woeful tragedy we all swore we could never handle.

The answer would be "no" because, in His infinite wisdom, He knows that my life is less like a Blockbuster film and more like an epic novel. And I am not the hero. The Hero did not come sweeping in with a cape and a sword like I dream of doing. The Hero landed on a dirty stable floor and let out a lusty scream--a baby. The Hero fell down and scraped His knee, just like the rest of us. The Hero knelt in front of His servants and served them. The Hero was despised and rejected by many people, religious hotshots, and was hung to die with the weight of the world crashing down on His shoulders. I was never the hero, because I'm really the criminal. I only pretend to be the hero every so often (all the time?). He's the Hero, because He did what I could never do--He made a path between God and mankind. He took my death sentence and fulfilled it Himself. And He continues to do what I could never do.

The answer would be no because God is writing my story. He knows the end; I only know what I WANT the end to be. His ending is a lot better than mine. And in time, who knows? Maybe someday I will be the one on the other side of the screen, doing big things and having crazy adventures. Regardless of MY life, one day the sick will be healed, the hungry will be fed, and the lost will be found. Me, the hero of a blockbuster film, though? No, my part in the film, in the epic, is really less than a blip on a radar. And when the credits of my life roll, they will only say:

GOD

Always for His glory,

Help bring Timothy's cousin home!

It is so incredible for me to see how God has laced my life with adoption stories. Timothy is home and thriving, but he still has a cousin waiting to come home from Ethiopia! What a joy it has been to have a sideline seat to Timothy's journey home, and I can only imagine the joy there will be on the day when he is able to greet his new cousin at the airport! Last year, the Kirk family had the privilege of partnering with Go. Seek. Love. as they sought to raise money for Timothy's adoption. Almost exactly a year later, Amy's sister, Julie, and her family are partnering with Go. Seek. Love. to raise money for THEIR adoption! All the proceeds from Go. Seek. Love. t-shirt sales in the month of May go toward the Thompson family's adoption. Please support the Thompson family with your prayers and financial gifts as you are able. (Oh, and for some fun giveaways associated with this fundraiser, visit Amy's blog and Julie's blog!) To read more about the incredible Thompson family, check out THIS page!

Crazy people...faithful God

Since the beginning of the year, I have been working my way through the Old testament. You know what ALWAYS blows me away? It doesn't matter if I've heard the "stories" once or a thousand times...God uses the CRAZIEST people to do His work here on earth! Seriously. I mean, we've all heard the account of Noah, and Abraham, and Moses...all loony in their own way, of course. But really. A donkey??? A woman shoving a tent spike through a man's head??? An "army" of 300 men, "fighting" by banging a bunch of clay pots together??? Wow. If one thing is clear, it's that God has quite the imagination!

All silliness aside, I have been so encouraged by my time in the Old Testament...I am reminded day in and day out that God loves to use ordinary, sometimes stupid (and always inadequate) people to do His work. I'm encouraged because I pretty much ace that description.

I left school today feeling a little bit disheartened. We had been practicing a very important nursing skill, and I just couldn't seem to get it right! If I had been "practicing" the skill on a live person, he would have been dead 3 times over! There are days when I think, "God, I don't think this was such a good idea. How am I EVER going to do this?" Today was one of those days. But then I climbed into my car, and you know what blew up on the sky-canvas right in front of me?

The most beautiful reminder of God's faithfulness...in the form of a ribbon of color lacing the stormy sky. At the same time, these words crooned through the radio: "'Cause if He started this work in your life, He will be faithful to complete it...If only you believe it!" He knew I needed these simple reminders of His faithfulness...and His ability to take my inadequacy and use it to His glory.

A couple of months ago, I shared with you all about the new journey God is taking me on. It is hard to believe, but in 2 months, I will be in Guatemala! To be honest, I don't know what I stepped into when I signed up for this trip!

A couple of weeks ago at our team meeting, we met the doctor who will be traveling and working with our team. While he lives and works in the United States, he humbly shared that he has been on more than 90 medical missions trips. 90! I think my eyes were probably bigger than ever as he went through a slide show of tropical diseases we could encounter as we seek to love and care for the people there. Ahem. I won't post any of those pictures here, as I would hate for you to have to make a not-so-fun trip to the restroom = ) Needless to say, as I think about this upcoming trip God is preparing me for, it is easy to feel overwhelmed, unprepared, and yes, inadequate. Thankfully, He loves inadequate! And He loves to prove His faithfulness!

I want to share a huge praise and some prayer requests...humbly asking that you would consider praying for me in the next few months as I prepare to follow God's leading to Guatemala:

First of all, I am MORE than fully funded!!! Praise God for His provision, and thank you so much to those of you who have partnered with me on this journey!

As the time of my departure nears, please be praying for:
~My heart, that God would continue to instill in me a deep love and compassion for the people of Guatemala
~For team unity...we are essentially going to be setting up makeshift "urgent care" centers in churches, a feat that requires quite a bit of team work and patience!

~For the people we will encounter, that God would go ahead of us and prepare their hearts.
~For health, safety, and organization as we prepare supplies and medications for our departure in late June.

I stand before you as a work in progress...and as a reminder that God uses the foolish things of this world to shame the wise!

All for His glory,

What would you do for someone you love?

Source

"'Cause you know I'd walk a thousand miles if I could just see you." This music lyric has been rolling around my head lately. Oh, what I wouldn't give to see my dad again! Just for one day, I truly would walk a thousand miles.

What would you do for someone you love? Today is the day we remember what Jesus did for those He loves. We recount the blood sweat and the tears shed, the brow broken and side torn. We sit before the cross and remember. I worry, though. I worry that I forget, that I numb myself to the pain He experienced. And I think, what would I do for someone I love?

I smell Mary's perfume (John 12:3) and wonder, what do I have that I can lay at Jesus' feet?

I sit at that table, eating the bread and drinking from the cup...and I cry out with the disciples, "Lord, who? Certainly not I!" Yet I know of the betrayal, the spitting in His face and turning the other way.

I am with Him in the garden, confused by His anguish because I know not what He faces...and I sleep. I abandon Him in His hour of distress, unaware of his blood-sweat.

I am there when they come for Him, slipping through the trees to hide as they bind His hands and sneer in His face. I run away.

And I am there, at the foot of the cross...drops of blood and sweat from His brow drip to my skin. My cry is lost in His: "My God! My God! Why have you forsaken me?" His groans and agony too much to take in, I hide my face.

All the while, I wonder. What would I do for someone I love? Jesus broke the body...God incarnate broke Himself from the Godhead and experienced hell--a world without God. He took the weight of my sin--of my guilt, my shame, my brokenness and pain--and heaped it all upon His back. He breathed His last breath. The perfect lamb, slaughtered in my place. For my soul.

אלוהים ירחם עלי

Lord, my God, have mercy on me.

He cares about the details

I've been thinking this week about how grateful I am that Jesus meets me where I'm at. When I'm tired, when I'm scared, when I can barely walk (30 day shred, remember?), when I'm content, when I'm not content...No matter where I am emotionally, physically, spiritually--He's there. Can you imagine if we had to meet HIM where He's at?! I know I would never get there.

I finished my second week of the school quarter, and while I am definitely busy and challenged, I am so incredibly thankful for the Lord's presence and comfort. It is so easy to lose sight of Him in the midst of the storm, but when I keep my eyes fixed on the Author and Perfecter of my faith, of ME, everything else starts to fade away.

I have so much running through my head and racing around my heart, but I wanted to share a thought with you all...remember that He cares about the details of your life. In fact, He delights in the details of your life. "The Lord directs the steps of the godly. He delights in every detail of their lives. Though they stumble, they will never fall, for the Lord holds them by the hand" (Psalm 37:23-24). Allow Him to hold your hand, to meet you right where you're at.

If you are facing anything scary or challenging or daunting or exciting...I would be privileged to pray for you. Just leave me a comment on this post or shoot me an email at the address listed under the "Contact" tab above.

At peace because of Him,

Happy Birthday, Dad!

Today would have been the 62nd birthday of one of the greatest men I have ever known.

About 2 weeks before he went to be with Jesus

Today, I am thinking of how he would have loved to celebrate the day.
*He would have taken the day off.

*He would have started the morning out with a lengthy time of prayer and studying God's Word...and mostly praying, for my brothers and sisters and I, and especially for my mom.

*He would have gone on a nice long morning run...on a golf course. Bare foot. = )

*He would have taken a long nap.

*In response to questions like, "Dad, what do you want for your birthday?" He would have said, "All I want is a nice big hug from YOU!"

*He would have wanted some nice big treat to celebrate...Maybe a DQ ice cream cake, or a nice big milkshake in a mostly empty peanut butter jar.

*He would have spent the day with those he loved most.

*He would have started and ended the day with one of the gentlest, most captivating smiles you have ever seen.

Today would have been my Dad's 62nd birthday. I am missing him today, and hoping that God gives him an extra scoop of ice cream and most of the things from the list above.

I love you, Dad! Happy almost 2-year Heaven birthday!

Love,