Dear Little Brother,

Today is your birthday, and it makes me think of that day I first met you. In many ways, you are the one who made me a big sister. Sure, I was already Big Sister, but I wasn't really old enough to understand it until you came into the world. As I gazed into your chubby little infant face, I only halfway understood what I have come to understand today...that being Big Sister is not only a wonderful privilege, but also a frightening responsibility.

You fill my heart and challenge me in ways no one else does. I cannot imagine who I would be had God not given me you. Your name means, "Jehovah has healed," and "The Lord burns; fire of the Lord." Your Biblical namesake became king at only eight years old, after his father died. Somehow, that is both ironic and fitting at the same time. I have cried many tears for you and for CR, not knowing the effect Dad's death might have on your young lives. The aftermath of that night will remain forever emblazoned in my mind: Hearing you sob gut-wrenching tears over losing your hero and best friend broke me. I have had to trust God with your heart, over and over, believing that He would care for you and Shepherd you as your Daddy, since your earthly daddy cannot be here. 
And He has, hasn't He? He has healed you, and He has placed His fire deep down inside you. He has given you big responsibility, just as He gave your namesake in the Bible. I pray that you will step into your name in new ways this year. That you will know His healing and His fire deep down to your toes. That you will continue to grow in humility, courage, and leadership. That you will step into your God-given gifts with boldness and sincerity. That you will understand in deeper ways your identity as a son of LH and of the Most High God. Dad would be so proud of the man you are becoming. I know I am. I am proud to be your big sister, and I am challenged to love deeper because of you. 

Happy 17th birthday. I love you so much.